False sense of entitlement

I have seen a number of issues / conflicts arising due to the false  sense of entitlement that we as a Nation suffer from.
 
We are a pampered lot right from childhood with parents giving in to our demands and supporting us till late in lives. So, we become used to demanding service and assuming that we are entitled to it. 
 
This makes us believe that everybody is there to serve us. 
So my job becomes the responsibility of the college, my growth is the responsibility of the company, my education is the responsibility of my parents and in the end I can blame them all for my failures.
 
Why don’t we introspect ? 
 
We are not entitled to anything. 
 
It is MY responsibility to make a failure or success of the platform that our parents, college or company provides.
It is my life and my ownership, responsibility is the only thing that matters. The sooner we realize this TRUTH, the sooner we can get to the path of SUCCESS.
 
YOU only need yourself to make a MESS or a SUCCESS of YOUR LIFE. 

Earn It

Yesterday while watching the Epic movie “Saving Private Ryan” the dying words of Tom Hanks character, Capt. Miller “James… earn this. Earn it.” kept ringing in my ears for a long time.

 

These look very simple words but can be a very life changing experience if the true meaning and the depth behind the words is understood.

 

If one understands the true meaning of them, once can achieve great success and would also be in a better position to understand and accept any situation.

Let’s review some interesting cases where this can be applied:

Love : When we meet somebody from the opposite sex, we present our best picture. What happens when our true selves come out. It becomes a wasteland of broken dreams, promises and messy relationships.

What we should be actually doing is working each day to EARN the love and respect of each other . Initially attraction might be a chemical reaction but you got to keep the fires burning to sustain the relationship.

Relationships : In a family, we have multiple relationships – with our parents, our siblings and cousins. We normally take them from granted and don’t value them as we are caught up in our web of life. But we need to EARN them and keep them fresh so a relationship does not become a ship with no relations.

Work : An employee joins an organization by passing the rigorous interview test and then for the first 3 – 6 months or even one year till the first increment, he works his heart out and gets a promotion and a nice raise or even a moderate raise. Then the performance goes downhill or stagnates. He thinks he has EARNED it but stops looking at the constant EARNING that is required to maintain and improve his performance. He blames everyone but himself and does not consider that he is still getting a salary which he needs to EARN and needs to EARN his increments as well.

Same goes for the organization. A company hires the best resources, gives them a nice raise from the previous jobs but fails to maintain and EARN their trust and challenge and reward them later on. The organization will not rise if it stops EARNING its employees.

Business: A business signs up a client by promising the moon, delivers for a few months and things go downhill. The business needs to constantly EARN his client to improve performance and profitability.

In all the above cases, we find that when we stop EARNING and become complacent and demand something as a birthright, we start to lose the plot.

 

Let’s EARN it to ENJOY it.

Stress and how to reduce it

Stress is a major part of our current lives and despite trying hard to curtail it , we still remain stressed.

Let’s stress on a few basic points that the experts advise on how to reduce stress.

 

  1. Letting go and accepting the things : Your kids are not listening , your team members are playing hardball , your maid has not turned up. Basically nothing is happening as you wanted or planned, just take a step back and accept the situation. The best solution at that moment will be to refine / lower your expectations and accept instead of fussing about things that are beyond your control. Sometimes it is easier to let go.

 

  1. Live a simpler life and reduce clutter : We need to de-clutter our lives and make them simpler. The desk, house, mobile phone, laptop , your relationships need to de-cluttered . I have seen some people keeping all their files on the desktop screen instead of keeping them in separate orderly folders. They are just cluttering up and it is a mirror of how we live. Just look at your wardrobe – If it is messed up and full of things that you have not even worn for a long time, you need to let go and reduce and organize the wardrobe. Clutter causes stress.

 

  1. Get a hobby: What do you like doing. It can be anything like photography, bird watching, blogging. Develop a hobby that you are passionate about. Reduces stress considerably.

 

  1. Listen to music or develop a reading habit – Music provides a soothing experience and reading helps in increasing knowledge and widening your thoughts and horizon. Great stress busters.

 

  1. Do some voluntary / charity work – Join an NGO or even teach your maid’s kids for free. Do something worthwhile free for someone else. Will give you tremendous satisfaction and happiness and will reduce stress.

 

  1. Attend a funeral – Funerals make you realize the eventuality of the circle of life and you start seeing life from a different perspective. Funerals make you realize that stressing on the client, team member, kids, maid is just a small speck in the life cycle and nothing is permanent.

Learning to Say No

Many times at work or even at home , we get caught up in complex situations with the attitude of pleasing and saying “Yes” to everybody and to each extra work, request or expenditure. 

We say “Yes” to our bosses, our colleagues and to our children as we don’t want to offend anyone. 

It is good saying “Yes” when you job or relationship depends on it. But we normally tend to overlook that saying a small “Yes” will impact the other tasks on the project or will upset our monthly budget and you will regret it later. We need to think it through which we tend to ignore. 

We as an individual and as a society as a whole need to learn to say “No” to things or acts which we know will have repercussions or will snowball into huge nightmares and mishaps later on. 

Saying “No” does not mean that you say “No” to everything but always think and try to put across your point in a polite manner without being offensive. 

9 times out of 10, the other party would understand your valid reason for saying “No”.